I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I stole a fireplace last night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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