What did we do last night that was yellow?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
