Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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