i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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