Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
