I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
