drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
