I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
