I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
