There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
honey bunches of taint.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We left the knife in your bed.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
