she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She's the barista slut.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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