If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
