Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I AM VODKA MAN
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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