Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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