Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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