Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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