fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
