whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
