I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
