I wish I could teleport
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize