Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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