I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
we're so committed to being not committed
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
