Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
