why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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