1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
