Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize