I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
