meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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