You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
