you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
