Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
