honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
