erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
