How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
