he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
