I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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