I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
