Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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