shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
