I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
