Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
