i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
