There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
