so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
