dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
