If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
