R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
