you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
