she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
