tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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