Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
