You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize