dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
