finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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