Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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