Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
