Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
