I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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