You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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