dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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