I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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