Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize