UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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