We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
