Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
