Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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