I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
