I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize